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been wakin up early and draggin myself off the bed then to sch and with immersed lookin eyebaggs. myy. i, beginning to look more alike of a walkin zombie. or am i still so into clinchin the 'xiong mao zhi wang' title. hohoho.
anyway, after classes, went with feline to trim her fringe etc. new outlook indeed. wasabi peeps, watch out for our sis yea =P then supposedly to go support peeps at the beach for the beach fiesta but decided to date some milkies out. tried but no avail i guess. hmm. then kat and i decided to go catch a show in which i didnt mind cos i just wanted to chill alil' b4 the coming week of another test to fill my life. didnt know wadd to watch but i knew i wanted nachoes cheese. hahha. ended up watchin underworld evolution. it was bloody. gruesome. violent and bloody. i didnt know wadd it was about b4 hand totally. went in and shocked myself tonnes. just great. poor kat didnt even have apetite for the cheesehotdogg. then went walkin ard and i caught sight of a pretty gola bagg. brown one has tt vintage look i guess. green one's pretty i catchin. still pendin. is wallie gonna be thinn.. hmmmm.
cuttin my nails now. snipped my hair short ytd. packed my room and notes etc for days. nt sure why am i in such a cleanin mood or simply one of discarding. the physical stuff or everythg tt i own rilly. complexd life. pretenious me. baah. i need myself back badly.
i sat on my bed and thot out loud last night. and concluded. it might be easier to learn to be sensitive to others. but much harder to learn nt to be much sensitive. cos its when someone tells one nt to be sensitive. u think tt sensitive fella's nt gonna be sensitive bout wadd u just said? goshh. its prolly took issues why fella became a high sensitivity person. i also realised its gettin harder to trust the thgs ard. so hard to b oneself nt knowin when u'll end up trippin and bruisin urself madd. its like walkin on tight rope everyday. also. its so easy to love the pple who are lovable. but often nt the unlovely ones. pple with too much flaws we just cnt accept u know. lookin at everyone else but ourselves. its nt pity we give to them so we accept but out of love we do. why isit so hard to accept when the person does no harm. talk is cheap. we all know. its the practice tt makes the job grueling. pple dnt see whats rilly gg on inside pple at times. when they cld be hurtin and drownin their pillows wet at night. its heartachin to hear sometimes. if true acceptance didnt come with implied terms or conditions. ( learnt frm comm law) i wish i cld be lesser of one each day. to nv b some arsewipe to hurt another. cos its gonna b painful. why inflict upon another? we aint god ourselves. why 'create' unnessary thgs for ones like u and me. we but of all the same actually. farnie its like pple who dun have much to say in the day.they blog loads. oh wells. some random thots.
a post taken off a fren's blog:
And I'm getting sick of that.
Its horrible, really, to constantly feel that
Like, when I do something, I'm wrong
And when I don't, I'm wrong too
Either way, I'm wrong.
Its scary how in the past, I never had this feeling before.
Maybe I'm still growing up?
Or maybe, it had been there all these while,
I just wish i know
the feeling of wanting thgs purely to be right BUT have to feel one is wrong. constantly. whatever done is still wrong no matter what. do u know how torturin it can actually be? how much it can rilly eat into one? y? all bcos someone out there can make one feel so low. the pathetic. and bringin the morale so close to zero. acceptance? sensitivity? sometimes, the more u feel for a person, and if its tt person tt happen to bring u down. its gotta hit way harder. to my dear fren, i totally feel u. pls b happy.
tired slpy groggy u name it. ive got it. all along the same line tt is. hvnt been runnin nor playin any sport for so long. but the knee caps are still achin for some reason. why. life is bitter 'ming ku' arh. i rilly nd to exercise soon. gettin fatty-ed.dorts. so will it be crunches + hullahoops? ahems huuh my fren maine? pity i dnt own hoops. prolly go run oneday. i need volleyball. i crave volleyball. -liccks. okay. i miss it still. rather badly. and ohh. if theres one thg i wish the world nt to have, the standard answer wld have been war. but for now. can it be no more rashes pls? grrrh.
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