Friday, October 21, 2005
Been feelin not myself and just so outta sorts. Everytime I put my heart to do something it just doesnt go too well. Circumstances and issues all come at one go and everything just screws up. Health issues never fail to spoil everything for me and it just sucks. No matter how much I qn no matter how much I asked why. I know the answers are still this way. I dont want to make anyone worry esp my parents. No matter how dark and bad the nights may get for me at times. Or when it acts up. Ive never gotten angry with anyone for the circumstances and all. Cos everyones life is different in their own ways. I just hate it cos I cnt focus neither concentrate for too long. And I so cnt study what I plan to for the day. Im not that extrovert everyone thinks I am. And I just need to hide sometimes. the many times I just wanna detach from everything else. My frens, my family, my church and all. I dont understand whats going on with me. I just feel so lost and just more lost. No idea whats it.then here comes exams and my exam dates are exactly on the same dates as my tuition kids and the mother doesnt seem to understand my plight. Im so lack of time and rest and I just feel so SUFFOCATED! Ive got so much other misunderstandings along the way and im just too tired of explanations. Im achin and hurtin from training and I hate myself for being so weak. I want to train and work this well but I know this is sure to come with a price. I hate to consider all these whenever I wanna work hard for something and why isit why must it be this way for me? maybe i do need to relax but how to when uve got all right up to ure neck. after i try to lax, i get even more uptight. what the hell alrights. Im tired to face a new day. Im tired of facing everything else. Im tired to leading a life always racing against time and get major stressed up all the time. I cnt take this longer to tell myself everythings just gonna be alright. I dont really know whats really wrong with me but nt exactly too right. i just like lyk crap. maybe cnt take any of this further. but life still has to goes on. thats all I can say.
im holdin to the the bits and pieces.
so what if im breakin apart
so what if im still strugglin with tt friggin- maskk
i wnt let u catch my shatters.
i wnt let u see me down once more.
it didnt matter.
And pls dont worry cos im just ranting.
to those: thank you all for ure encouragements,
really appreciate lots.
to yew: pls take care and be safe. have a gd time alright. wld miss yew.
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